Hilarious Cop Talks Paris, Britney And Lindsay

Cop Outs Lindgay, Um, I Mean, Lindsay

August 1. 2008

Paris Hilton

A no nonsense cop, LAPD Chief William Bratton, said what most sensible people aware of the "Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan" circus were thinking - since bad circumstances have forced them to calm down, things have improved for the police and public in Hollywood.

Britney Spears rocking the forehead action. Women, never change your hair color from root to tip every few months. Wear a wig or weave if you want that many changes.

It was the Kabbalah Center and Madonna that encouraged them to behave like insane, brainwashed people with no legal boundaries, in order to garner publicity for said cult, but it ended up destroying their lives. Madonna, whose entire career has been based on staged controversy and stealing copyrights, believes all publicity is good publicity, but that simply is not true. See her current flopped album and poor tour sales for reference.

Just a few years ago Lindsay Lohan had a lucrative movie career, money and a boyfriend. Now she's almost broke, her career is in the toilet and she's dating a girl that looks like a dude.

However, Chief Bratton phrased the Paris-Britney-Lindsay-chaos so hilariously that it made people laugh:

"If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody, thank god; and, evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue. If the ones that attract the paparazzi behave in the first place, like we expect of anybody, that solves about 90% percent of the problem. The rest of it we can deal with."

'Crime rates have gone down since Britney put her clothes on and Paris left town,' says LAPD chief

Los Angeles' police chief today insisted paparazzi-related crime had gone down in recent months due to the behaviour of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

LAPD Chief William Bratton blamed the formerly troubled trio for previous paparazzi drama, which has resulted in numerous lawsuits between the stars and photographers.